Who moved my cheese? plus reasons NOT to go for a run in Togo

Proof of genetics:

Mom: So how's the South American?
Me: Ok... he does this thing that bothers me.
Mom: What's that?
Me: He eats all my cheese. Like, once in a while I buy some good cheese... and of course, I offer some to him as a snack or whatever... but he also eats it for breakfast. This is a South American thing, I think, to eat cheese for breakfast. And I'm sort of screaming in my head "HEY STOP EATING ALL MY CHEESE, I WANT SOME FOR TOMORROW," but of COURSE I don't say anything because what the hell? It's cheese. And I feel like an idiot. It's like the dessert fight with the ex.
Mom: Dessert?!
Me: I would get mad because he would eat all the good dessert in the first two days after our food shopping trip and we'd be eating applesauce for the rest of the week. And sometimes I wanted to space out the good desserts so I'd have something to look forward to later in the week. Well, we had a big fight about that. I'm ridiculous, I know it, I recognize it, but it just doesn't change the fact that I feel really strongly about food fairness.
Mom: Do you remember when Dad was mad that I gave his can of red beets to the church food drive? He said that it wasn't mine to give.
Me: You see? I get this from you freaks! I remember writing in my diary about a fight that you and Dad had about... wait for it... whether it was more cost-efficient to buy the MINI-SNICKERS or the REGULAR SIZE. Thanks for all the crazies.


Text message from Kate to Mom:

"I went out for a run and when I got home I found out someone had castrated my dog!!"


As some of you know, Kate adopted a puppy a few months ago in her village. She had decided to take him to a vet in Lome, the capital, to be fixed. According to her, the villagers misunderstood "I'm taking him to Lome" for "wait until I leave the compound and then DO IT YOURSELVES." I guess she isn't too upset because it cost 50 cents to do it, but I would have said something along the lines of "HEY HOW ABOUT YOU LEAVE MY DOG AND HIS BALLS ALONE?"

The whole castration misunderstanding puts a little dark cloud over the idea of vacationing in Togo next year, to say the least. I'm all for new experiences, but Jesus. This place sounds like a Tim Burton movie gone wrong.


seasidesar said...

i was laughing outloud so much when i read your food-stealing/ration-incapable boyfriend convo w/ your mom. though my favorite part may be when your dad said that those beets weren't hers to give [to the church!] justin asked me what i was giggling about and i made him come and read it, and we discussed for a bit and he said it's amazing what little things end up being something people argue about... which leads me to believe he might be that kind of boyfriend, too! (actually, i don't really think so, in that i left ben & jerry's in his freezer for so long it grew a layer of ice on top of it... but still - you never know!). in sum - we've learned to ration carefully and with much description of the intended shelf life of said cheese.

bec said...

this just might be one of my faves ever. . and i would love to be a fly on the wall at an epting family dinner. . heck with fly, i'd like to sit right there! haha