Barbie Royal for Prez!

Here in France, May is the month of not working (which should not be confused with January-April and June-December). Three bank holidays cut the first weeks of May so that it's basically one long weekend that lasts 20 days. The first of these holidays was yesterday; appropriately enough, it was a day to celebrate not working. In the U.S., we call this day Labor Day and we take it at the end of August, sort of like a back-to-school bonus day. In France, they take it in May because August is already a national holiday that lasts all month (explanation: uh..duh... it's AOUT, everyone from bankers to lawyers to cheese store owners vacate the country).

To celebrate the day of not working, Maddy and I decided to do the opposite of working- which, in this case, was going to a free concert for Segolene Royal in the south of Paris. For you French readers out there, you will appreciate the names Cali, Les Tetes Raides, and Benabar. These bands will mean nothing to the other readers, so you are invited to google them and download some songs.

So Maddy and I were clearly the only non-voting people attending this shindig in a stadium. We find a spot on the luscious grass that was so meticulously prepared for 40,000 people to trample on it. See the lusciousness:

Segolene Royal is the socialist presidential candidate and as of Sunday, May 6, she might be sleeping in the Elysee. So Maddy and I were pretty psyched to listen to what she had to say. But the concert/rally left us with few answers and even more questions. Such as:
Why did these two guys show up in matching pink polo shirts and resist grooving to the music even when the RAPPERS came onstage and played "in da club"?

Why did the man standing inappropriately close to me think it would turn me on if he continually blew on the back of my neck and made me promise to take his number before I left (a promise which went unfulfilled on my part...)?

Why did this guy hold an orange hat suspended in the air for two hours?

And finally, awkwardly, WHO is going to vote for this woman who spoke nonsense for 45 minutes before we got disgusted and left??

Oh, France. Your options are now clearly defined: would you rather vote in a nazi or a barbie doll?

The good news for Segolene is that lots of people think she's pretty. Some people were even yelling, "t'est trop jolie!", as others insisted "SE-GO-LENE, PRE-SI-DENTE!" The bad news for her is that France is in deeeeeeep shit if she gets into power. She was very uninspiring and said lots of general things like "we all love each other!" and "everyone should have a job"! Perhaps they should, but perhaps you should offer a couple real solutions, dipshit. It's true that our anglo-saxen upbringings prevented us from seeing the logic in promising that she would save the French people from working too hard, though I think that everyone in the stadium would agree that Ms. Royal speaks to her crowds as if they're got more than a few screws loose.
I was able to get a copy of her speech and it went something like this:



AMAZING!" (pause for applause)

Hey Sego- we're not dumb and we're not dogs. Talk to us like we're real people and maybe you'll have a better chance convincing us to vote for you. Err.. not "us" persay because Maddy and I went for the free music and photos, but you get the drift.
Tonight is the big debate, the world cup finals of politics. We'll see if she can rise to the occasion or if Sarko's going to slide into home without a care in the world...


Anonymous said...

Right... I'm voting for her, and I thought she didn't speak nonsense at all.

And it's "Royal" without an "e".

But nevermind, everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Jen said...

Thanks... I'll change the "e"!

Kate said...

i can't believe you saw cali in concert....i am soooooo jealous. can't wait to see you in less than a month!!!