More Figuring

I walked through Parc Monceau on the way home tonight; it was nearly 10pm and it was still light out. I don't have much time left in Paris before I head back to New York and sometimes that hits me in this crushing way and I can't breathe and I can't remember why I wouldn't want to spend every one of the summer evenings by the Seine or in a park or walking amongst the beautiful buildings that live here. Because despite everything that I miss back home, this feels so right sometimes.

There are many things I have to work through this summer though, things that can only be thought about and decided outside the pressures of a full-time work schedule. I feel confused about my future again but instead of immediately imagining a possible plan, I'm forcing myself to stay in the uncomfortable space of uncertainty. It's funny how habits become dictations and I'm at a point that my habitual plan-making is starting to feel like it's preventing me from growing. I guess that's when you know it's time to try something new.

1 comment:

seasidesar said...

hi there, i miss you and the whole band, too. sitting in an internet cafe in london, off to museum than chicago w/ anne. gotta jet - just wanted to say i can't wait to read some blogs abt our time... and i hope you got to catch up on your sleep! xoxoxo