In the zone with tic tacs and strawberries

So I joined the gym. I figured that, while I'm not inputting email addresses in a database (warning: summer job!), I should get back in shape so that I can ruin it all again with bagettes and cheese starting in September. It's like an annual diet; spend two months eating fruit and doing pilates, followed by 10 eating lard and cholesterol.

I went to my favorite class tonight, "Pilates with a ball!" in which you do all kinds of crazy stretches and ab workouts involving one of those big rubber balls that turn 45-year old suburban moms into kids. Small pleasures, people, we're in suburbia. The best thing about our teacher is that she doesn't just tell you "keep your legs together!" or "hold your stomach in!" She seems to specialize in AMAZING metaphors that really make you go the extra pilates mile.


At one point, we had to keep our legs glued together while we were working our abs and she told us to pretend we were holding tic tacs between our thighs and we couldn't drop them.

I KNOW. How motivating is that image? Ok, here's another one:

We're on our stomachs and she wants us to pull our bellybutton up towards our spine, which is the classic pilates ab move, and she tells us to imagine that there's a strawberry under our bellies and we can't crush it or bruise it.

PURE GENIUS! It is fan-freaking-tastic that the pilates instructor has not only managed to do the moves while wearing a microphone, plus teach the moves to 12 people at once, plus find good music that is just zen-enough but doesn't cross over into African plains medleys, and yet still has the drive to think up these metaphors. I mean, really. This woman is the American dream.


bec said...

i really want to commute to Yorktown and take your Pilates class!

ev said...

reading this was basically the best thing that has ever happened to me. and i think matt might be just a bit jealous if he read it.