10.19.2007

Friday night jinx

Every morning as I turn right onto I-684, I have this great thought for what I want to post about on my blog that night. And every night I try to recall what that great thought was to no avail. I mean, what could it possibly be? The charm of a certain guardrail?

I'm going to a friend's wedding next weekend and have made it my mission this week to avoid foods that will interfere with the whole "looking good in the new dress" thing. No one tells you this when they sell moving back to America-land, but living in this country makes. you. fatter. I wish I was kidding. But the lethal combination of not living in a 6th floor walk-up and driving everywhere puts on the pounds. I'm trying to tell myself that this is a pre-Brooklyn problem, that once I get there I will do so much more walking and I will be poorer and unable to buy cookies everyday at lunch. I also try to convince myself that I, like Elizabeth Gilbert, need an "Italy" period in my life when I allow myself to get over my recent divorce (with Paris) and let my body go. This zen-theory works much better on paper than in reality because I am having trouble with the zen of FITTING INTO MY PANTS.

And no good intention goes untested, as we all know, so today the universe decided to send two colleagues to work with donuts and one with freshly-baked chocolate croissants. I held it together though, because I'm about two binge-days away from wearing pants with a drawstring waist. Hot.

This week was full of important emails that warned me that not enough women are getting free mammograms and of my impending doom should I not forward one cheesy-ass poem to five people in the next three hours. After describing two horror stories of people who didn't forward the email (both of which ended in death, mind you), the final one reassured this:

"Richard sent this poem out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview with a really big company, ! when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had had for 2 years. Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and Richard are still married with three children, happy as ever!"

Sad and unemployed to married and successful in three days? Ya. Ok.*

And finally, how cool is this site?

*probably just jinxed myself.

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