10.02.2007

Rockstar

It is becoming increasingly apparent that I am not destined to become a famous musician. Nor have I demonstrated an acting talent that stands out as a hobby that I should pursue. My artistic skills are questionable at best. Try as I might, I don't understand modern dance and other than the 45-second ballet I still have memorized from Kindergarten, my dancing skills are nothing to write home about either. I will not be known for being one of these types of artists.

So what do you do when you realize you're never going to play for sold-out crowds? Maybe you change your dream.

I write this because there came a moment yesterday when I pressed the "publish" button and No Is For Wimps became a reality. This was followed by the "HOLY SHIT" face that I make when I am VERY excited about something. Then ensued ten minutes of rummaging through a box of CDs on my bedroom floor and then five minutes of dancing around to the sound of Outkast blaring through my little Dell speakers.

Organizing a bunch of people to contribute their voices to the Internet chorus, saying YES, and feeling like I am doing more in my life than working to pay my bills. This, my friends, is the closest it gets to being a rock star for me.

Sometimes I think about what my children will say to me one day about the George W. Bush years. How will I respond when they ask why I did nothing to stop the incredibly awful things that have been happening during his reign? It is not enough to say that I am one small voice out of many; it does not make me feel like a good person to say "politics don't interest me"; I am sick of reading about Iraq and Iran, but I do because it's important. I don't try to pretend that this blog or NIFW are going to save the world. But they are something for me. They give me a lifeline of communication, of voices, of perspectives.

And so I rocked out to Outkast yesterday like the rock star I will never be. Because I acted. Because I started. Because something came into existence yesterday that was not there before.

And maybe that is all that matters.

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