Freakin' Lavender.

Dear Origins,

You know that I love you. How could I not? Your skin-care products and natural make-up is the best. And don't get me started on that roll-on beige eyeshadow! I practically wear it in my sleep.

I know that a few months ago I started doubting the amazingness of your $35 per ounce moisturizer. I am sorry that I assumed the Ponds $4.49 stuff was the same. It clearly was not. Clearly the stuff you sell for 7x the price causes 7x less dry, patchy areas and makes my skin feel 7x more like a baby's ass. I'm back on the bandwagon. Promise.

But we have to talk. Your body lotion is RIDICULOUS. That free Ginger shit you were giving out for free last Xmas... well, no one really wonders why it was free. And just now, after my post-gym shower, I decided to put on some Lavender body lotion. Relaxing, right? WRONG. I smell like the entire city of Aix-en-Provence puked on me. I just tried to eat dinner and your scent reached up and overpowered everything I put in my mouth. I was all "mm, Dad, good turkey pie... BLAGH." And I'm a little bitter because I really love my Dad's turkey pie.

Your make-up colors are so natural and subtle, you barely notice they're there until you realize you just shelled out for $30 EYE DE-PUFFER. But your lotion possesses the subtlety of frat boys trying to get you in their frat house basements. Please tone it down a bit so that when Mom gets me an Origins gift basket this year we can all still smell the tree.

Love and kisses (and keep up the good work),
xo Jen

1 comment:

kersher13 said...

LOL :-) I love the no puffery too!