Sometimes I listen to this saved voice message twice in a row just to keep the laughter going

"I'm not sure if I just read your email correctly because my EYES STARTED BLEEDING, but I think that it said [jerk's name] is engaged. Jesus fucking Christ. I don't even know how to respond to that. Why are they all getting married? Why? Why? I don't even know. Thank god I'm going to a holiday party with a lot of booze. It's been a long week, Jen. I miss you. Give me a call. Bye!"

Hilarious and true: from the lovely Leigh.