Brooklyn Newsletter: Month Nine

Dear Brooklyn,

I had an interesting day at work today and although I finally got home around 10pm tonight, I went out on a run. Despite last week's humidity, tonight is one of the first nights that I felt a chill in the air as I ran along the Promenade. The image of Carrie pulling a warmer blanket onto her bed in the "I heart NY" episode of SATC popped into mind, and even now as I like here in bed writing this monthly letter, the breeze from my window has prompted me to snuggle down into the duvet. Fall is coming. In fact, it might already be here.

Tonight after everyone else was in bed, I slipped into my bridesmaid dress and heels to make sure everything still fit alright. Katherine and Ben are getting married this weekend, finally, after nine years together. In every way, they are each other's best friend; watching Katherine walk down the aisle towards her adoring Ben is going to be ridiculously emotional. It's pretty incredible, actually; when I think about the past nine years of my life, it seems that EVERYTHING important has happened to me in that time.

This past month has been noisy with mediocre dates and though I try not to put much pressure on first dates, there sure is something to be said for chemistry. Most times it seems pretty impossible to imagine meeting someone who I want to spend nine minutes with (let alone nine years) from an Internet site or in a bar. I have no other solution to this problem than to continue being myself and hope to attract lovely, smart people, some of whom might also have an extra boost of magic chemistry involved. It doesn't seem like much to ask until you're out there looking, when it feels like the most exotic thing in the universe. I will say this much, though: I feel much better about looking for a while than settling for a lifetime.

The past month has also been filled with ethical and emotional quandaries. What does it mean to stand up for something you believe in and how much am I willing to risk to do so? It becomes increasingly clearer to me everyday that life is easiest lived unchallenged. It is so damn easy to disengage from the world, to decouple from the neighborhood and community one exists in, to solely interest oneself in his or her own needs. And in the same breath, I'll admit that this isn't the life I'm interested in living.

At the risk of sounding dramatic (as often genuine honesty comes across), I refuse to be the girl who smiles and nods, I'm not interested in the least in being popular or liked for being anything other than who I am. I adore people who want to see another point of view, who are willing to suspend disbelief and who want to try life. I am lucky in that I know a great many people like this; I am equally lucky to know many who are not, if only because it affords me an opportunity to appreciate the former.

I walked home from the subway the other night and noticed that there were two bright lights shining from lower Manhattan. It seems that New York is shining these lights all week, given that Thursday is September 11. Seeing the lights from Brooklyn was a very moving moment for me and I think I'll do something special on Thursday to remember the day in my own way.

My bookmarks bar at the top of this screen has a bunch of folders, one of which is labelled "Music." I was flipping through it and came across this song a few minutes ago; I'll link you to it. I like the beat of it even if I don't remember how or when I came across it, and so I think I'll end this September letter with this song and a thought towards those who died seven years ago. We have come so far since then, and yet I still feel the effects of those events everyday. The world was changed, but I believe it can still be good.

I kind of have to.


P.S. Obama '08.

1 comment:

Suffragettes said...

What a sporty girl !!
Je t'ai taguée Jen :-)