Coming soon: 2009

So tomorrow is the last day of the year and the first time in a long time that I'll be celebrating New Year's in New York. I'm still not crazy about it, but the siblings are coming down and we're going to a party at co-worker's place. A house party is infinitely preferable to me than a New York club scene; turns out, I really hate clubs if they're not in a foreign country. Sketchy Parisian guys are part of an adventure. Sketchy New York guys are just... well... sketchy.

Not that I need an excuse to get sentimental and muster up some sort of forward-looking goal while looking back at the past (have you ever READ this blog?!), but since it is a new year, I thought I'd do a little listing. I can't remember last year's goals, other than visiting a new country. I pretty much killed that resolution, visiting Hungary and Morocco in one year (plus, does a stopover in Germany count?). Did I do all of the things I wanted this year? Nah. Did I do a bunch of awesome stuff? Hell, yes.

Top 10 awesome things of 2008 (in no particular order)
1. Becoming an employee at Arc90
3. Moving into my own apartment
4. Adopting Oscar-ooni
5. Attending the New Yorker festival
6. Visiting Agnes in Budapest and spending a week in France
7. Running my first 5k
8. Learning Spanish
9. Attending 2 Bon Iver concerts
10. Being brave when necessary

I tacked that last one on there because it does feel like a significant year of bravery. A few months ago I was talking to a friend about some life and love crap that I was going through. I admitted to her that, regardless of the messes I'd gotten myself into, I was really glad that I could fall back on who I am and count on myself to get out of it. I suppose that sounds either Schizophrenic or arrogant; I don't mean it either way.

I guess I just mean that I'm glad to be my own company in my darkest moments.

I hit a low point this summer and I remember feeling lonely and tired one Saturday morning. I had one of those panic moments, the kind when you're not sure things are going to work themselves out, but from the depths of somewhere, an energy came out of me. I planned a day of visiting the Brooklyn museum, reading in a park, and ended up making friends with a Spanish immigrant here on vacation. I don't know where those energy reserves come from, but I'm so very glad that I have them.

I struggle with what to share on this blog and what to keep private. This all stems from the fact that I'm not sure what this blog is; I am loathe to call it an online diary, a term that makes me want to punch myself in the face. On the other hand, I received numerous emails from readers this year (even people I've never met!) and that has been an interesting and humbling benefit to writing in this medium. You cannot know how much it means to me when I hear from you, how glad it makes me that sometimes what I write about touches you or makes you laugh or ANYTHING. I suspect that those energy resources I mentioned earlier are partially fueled by my interaction with you, readers. Because for whatever reason, in this crazy modern year of 2008, a blog is an obvious way of shouting your voice into the wind.

And sometimes, if you are lucky, you are heard.

Happy New Year's 2009.

xoxo J

1 comment:

Avi said...