3.21.2009

Demonstrating a point

Here's the same exact post, this time in bitch-mode:

1. It's sunny, but still so chilly outside.
2. Yesterday I Rollerbladed around my neighborhood for 40 minutes and almost fell about 10 times.
3. I woke up feeling like I'm getting a cold. Just the other day I thought about how I hadn't been sick in a long time. Typical.
4. Just found out I'm going to a conference in San Francisco next week. I'm stressed about getting Oscar a sitter, worried about spending money to stay 3 extra days, feeling shy about asking friends to stay with them.
5. I forced myself to make an Excel spreadsheet of all my purchases. I hate having to track how many chai tea lattes I buy from Starbucks. I wish I had more money.
6. I watched my first Telenovela DVD from the Spanish library and wish I understood more than 20%.
7. Chris and I have started watching Lost from the beginning and it seems like we never have enough time to watch as many episodes as I wish we could.
8. Kate showed me this blog a few weekends ago and it makes me feel bad about not cooking healthy more often. Also it makes me feel crappy for not running more often.
9. Sometimes I don't know how to feel good in a negative environment at work.
10. It's now officially spring and it's still officially cold out.

Happy freakin' weekend, people.

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Isn't that AMAZING? I purposely left the last line the same... and now it reads as sarcasm.

I had a good conversation with a colleague the other day who told me getting older allows us to care less what other people think. It made me rethink how much I feel passively pushed around. It also made me think about the ways I change my outlook depending on who I'm around and where I am... New Yorkers can be huge freaking complainers. Living as a foreigner abroad, I remember being constantly refreshed by Maddy and Katie and Erica and others who were as ecstatic about living a poor, yet beautiful existence in Paris. We were eternally grateful for even the opportunity to have a work visa over there. There was bullshit at work, at the post office, sometimes when meeting a stranger, but those girls were such positive forces to be around.

Note to self: it may be time for some spring cleaning in the life department.
Note to readers: this doesn't mean I'm leaving NY for Paris!

1 comment:

Erica said...

What an interesting post ... so interesting that I feel compelled to comment !

Purposefully changing my outlook is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. Sometimes a negative through will appear and disappear so quickly, yet leave behind feelings of unease, anger and disappointment. Yet when i seek out the reasons behind the negative feelings, I can't even remember what caused them in the first place.

When I was depressed a year and a half ago, I printed up a poster that said "You are not your thoughts." It went into detail on how to banish negative thoughts from your mind. I don't remember exactly what it said, but it went soemthing like this: "Negative thoughts are normal. To not let them take over your life, you need to recognize them as negative thoughts and then turn them around into a positive thought."

It's the old "glass half-empty or half-full" conundrum. Your first post was the "half-full" one, looking at everything as an improvement (e.g. you can understand some Spanish, yay!), whereas the second one was the "half-empty" version, looking at everything as not being good enough (e.g. you ONLY understood 20% of the film).

I know you, and while you might be surrounded by New Yorkers who complain too much, I know that you've surrounded yourself with positive people.