An open letter regarding awkwardness

Dear Awkward City,

We are not so well-acquainted, I will admit. I can usually avoid you- I'm social! I once told someone I'd like to live a life that allowed me to be trapped in an elevator with literally anyone on earth and feel like I could make conversation.

Well turns out you were waiting for tonight!

I was already a little bit nervous to speak in front of a Tech crowd and present Kindling. But then! There, from across the room, was the dude I went on a match.com date with last summer. Already very awkward because I never wrote him back after our data at Jamba Juice.

But then! There, next to me, was my current boyfriend. And then! I went to the front of the room to present WITH said current boyfriend. And then! Match.com dude looked directly at me and asked questions about the app!

I figured that, at some point, I'd have to say hello and I was fully prepared to say "hey, how are things going?" For whatever reason, this dude only approached us when we were on the way out the door.

"Hey," I said, warmly.

"Have I met you somewhere?" he asked. "I think I saw your profile on meetup.com... or maybe at a Tech event?" Also he mentioned serendipity bringing him to this Meet-up. Yes, that happened.

At this point, I sort of died. HOW DOES ONE PROCEED? Was this guy pretending he didn't remember me? Or acting this way because he thought I had forgotten him? Thus ensued the. most. awkward. conversation in which he tried to collect my business card (saved by current boyfriend who gave him HIS biz card... ho ho, I hope there is no future emailing happening there!). He also critiqued our app and would not let us leave the conversation for 10 minutes. All the while, I thought "what is he doing? Why is he being so awkward? This is not humane! I want to sink into the floor!"

Despite your best attempts, Awkward City, we kicked the presentations' ass. So foiled again, my worthy opponent. Foiled again.

Yours in constant potential embarrassment,

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