7.07.2009

Gravity, you son of a B.

Alright, this is going to be a doozy.

I had a really shitty day. I had the kind of shitty day that I don't remember how to process anymore; it's rare that I feel something triumph so devastatingly over me. Enthusiasm is my vital warrior, so much so that when it fails to accomplish, I'm left confused and lost.

I finally went to the doctor this morning about something that's been happening in Yoga classes- first last summer, then this winter, then over the past few days. When I'm doing inverted poses (even downdog), fluid collects under my eyes and they swell. It doesn't hurt and it's not gross, but it looks as if I've been sobbing or as if someone recently took out their own shitty day on my face.

After going through a bunch of scenarios (yoga mat allergy? incense allergy?), the doctor agreed with me this morning that my body isn't able to handle being in those positions for more than a few minutes.

I've googled the hell out of this and I literally can't find one other person on the planet who has similar symptoms. The doctor said he was sure a million people have the same problem, but just don't know it because they don't do Yoga.

Sentiment during the 30-minute walk from the doctor's office to work bounced between feeling self-conscious (still a bit swollen this morning) and pissed.

"Don't you think if I do Yoga a lot my body will get used to it?" I'd asked the doctor moments earlier. He shook his head. "There's nothing there that would get stronger or benefit from more use," he said.

Other than looking like a freak, it also slightly stresses me that there isn't a name for this. Anti-inverted-ness? Dis-gravity-io? Come on, modern science. Do me a solid and name this shit so someone can create a wikipage about it and we can figure out a solution. Because for now, the new expensive Yoga mat and 2-week unlimited Yoga pass are going to waste.

This evening in an effort to throw a middle finger at the whole operation, I put in a Yoga DVD I got from the library and did some poses for 40 minutes. The tiny button of light in this whole thing is that it makes me more aware of what's happening to my body as I go through the moves (although I'm pretty sure the Yogis didn't intend internal freak-out monologues as part of the relaxation technique). I just didn't want to mess up my streak of 4 days of daily Yoga. And also because I still sort of refuse to believe that my body wants to screw me on something I like doing so much.

Ok readers, now this is where you come in. So nobody wrote about anti-inverted-ness yet on the Internet. Consider me #1. All I need to feel better about this is a second person, a second case. This post could be found by someone keyword searching or maybe one day you'll be talking with a friend who mentions their increase in puffiness post-headstands. DIRECT THAT PERSON HERE.

We have a Meet-up to organize.

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