Keeping warm.

Sometimes I get really excited about turning 30. Not the significance of it or the heavy way it sounds (thirty years old, teenagedom half a life away), but for the actual event of it all.

The Thirtieth Birthday.

I think I would like to spend my 30th birthday somewhere very selfish, somewhere that I am aching to go and I don't give a rat's whatever if anyone wants to go with me. Like Vienna. Doesn't Vienna sound like the exact right place? Cream cakes and cobblestone streets and Mozart museums. (Somewhere, my boyfriend just fell asleep...). Vienna: the musical version of Paris, where anyone who ever became anyone in music lived and composed.

Truly, I know almost nothing about the place. But don't you love these little human daydreams, the ones that help you to get through the cold and rainy February afternoons? The quiet and unconscious ways we motivate ourselves to look ahead towards spring? I'm tired of the day to day routines of gyms and work and classes and social obligations. I hit my limit when the winter seems longest.

But little daydreams. These daydreams fuel a tiny fireplace in my heart, where the tiniest version of myself warms her toes and waits for spring.


Kelley said...

You can go to Vienna but you still have to have a 30th birthday GALA.

Edith said...

is that a big hint for chris for your 30ieth birthday present? lol

ev said...

have you read susan sontag's "project for a trip to china?"