The one in which I complain about having friends.

A few minutes ago, I started thinking a little more about what I'm throwing myself into next weekend.

"I'm a little nervous about Iowa."
"Oh, you're going to be great. When you focus on something, you're a force to be reckoned with," Chris said.
"No, it's not that. It's more like... when I think about all of the social situations I'm going to find myself in for the rest of my life and all the friends there are to be made... I guess it just makes me feel tired."

Chris pointed out that I didn't have to make friends in Iowa. Technically that's true. And as I pushed the Swiffer around the sticky kitchen (last night's party left a mean residue), I thought about what it would be like to keep to myself during the workshops, to not make impromptu cafe dates and rendez-vous in the local bookshop with new and quirky people I think I'll like. Thinking through that scenario felt weird, very unlike me, but then I started wondering what it would be like to take a break from being me for 8 days in Iowa.

Do you ever think about this stuff? About what it might be like to refuse the one quality that seems to define you? Being the social person I am and enjoying a myriad of hobbies have been successful for me so far. I'm happy. But what else could I achieve if I weren't worried about keeping up with so many people and events and opportunities?

Sometimes I think New York makes me the least productive person in the world.

If that is true, then Iowa just might be the ticket.

1 comment:

Amber, theAmberShow said...

But when you are tending to your friendships, you ARE being productive, in the very best way.

I'd rather miss an opportunity to sew a skirt than a good party any day.