Not just a 4th grade sleepover.

Last night I had a Hoboken sleepover. Katherine, Anne and I ordered thai food and ate it at Anne's kitchen table, where we talked about work and life and love. Ben came over and we talked about running and our morning routines and they all tried to talk me into making spinach smoothies in the mornings. Maybe one of these days when I am not coming to the city early to write or walking over the bridge early for exercise, I will wake up early to blend spinach.

We had a sleepover because there are ways you miss talking to your friends late at night. When everyone lives in their own apartments (and our rooms are no longer preceded with the word "dorm"), you often only have the kind of catch-up conversations at bars and restaurants that can insult the very friendship you're fostering. What is it about late at night and in your pajamas that lets you talk quietly about different subjects?

As we were falling asleep, Anne and I talked sleepily about what we like best about being grown-ups. I said (not as eloquently into my pillow) that I like being in charge of my own happiness, that I can change my life and see different people and do challenging things to result in feeling content. I forget what she said, but I think, in a way, it was the same. I love these friends that I've known since we were nerdy and on campus and am amazed at how we've all navigated so well. We grew up.

This morning Anne got up and went running and I got up and took the bus into the city to write and I knew Katherine was blow-drying her hair and making smoothies for Ben and I thought about how important it is to make time for these moments together. It is like anything you're trying to balance: not possible to do it every day, but critical to do it enough that the threads hold tight.

Here I am, about to go into the 8th month of the year, and I think Balance Beam '10 just hit me. Balance is never about doing everything all the time, but doing everything some of the time, an illusion that you keep up, a trick that allows you believe that it is possible to have it all.

1 comment:

Katherine said...

I love this post! It really was so nice catching up last night. Ha...I thought of you this morning as I cut down my getting ready time to 1 hour (but that meant no smoothies) I have to work on it ;)