Simplifying and socializing.

Tonight we had dinner guests from England, my friend Sarah and her boyfriend Andrew. Sarah and I were English Assistants at the same high school in Clermont back in 2003-04. We hadn't seen each other in three years and it was surreal to see her on this side of the ocean, eating chicken for dinner around the table in the apartment I live in with my fiance.

When they left, I turned to Chris and made a face. "I miss having dinner with smart friends," I said.

But it's not that. It's not the smart thing (although Sarah and Andrew are able to talk about politics and cultures and the like). It's the difference between inviting 40 people to our apartment for a party and 2 people for dinner. It's the way meeting one friend for brunch accomplishes more than meeting 10 friends for a drink.

This feels like an influence of social media (blah blah, I know, but still). You broadcast news out to a larger audience and don't need to interact as much one-on-one. Here we are, nearly a month after we've been engaged, and I haven't yet seen (and hugged!) most of my girlfriends in New York. Isn't that kind of weird?

I'm so glad the end of the year is coming. I love moments of renewal and setting goals and marking time by marking change. One of the things I'd like to work on in 2011 is having more personal friendships and acknowledging a social landscape that reflects reality. A few months ago I swore not to make plans til January and so far this is working out great. I still feel overwhelmed sometimes, but it's much better than having every night for a month planned out ahead of time.

Evenings like tonight, roughly planned but fairly spontaneous too, prove that the plan to simplify the schedule was a pretty good move.

1 comment:

Edith said...

is this sarah that i know? brunette with long hair? oh my, that was so long ago that we were all together in london for new year's eve!