The past week has flown by and has revealed our engagement to be a catalyst for much thinking. What does it mean to us to be married? What's important to us about that act, or that day, or the legality behind the action? How do we prepare ourselves to take vows, to look each other in the eyes and make the kind of statement that you hope to only make once in your life?
It's been a struggle to remain focused on the strategy of our marriage, as people inevitably want to quickly move towards the implementation of our marriage. Where will we be married? Where will we have our reception? How many people will be there? And what color will the bridesmaids be wearing?!?
I don't mind these questions; it's natural for people to be curious about the components of our marriage that they'll be a part of. I get it. I've been there. But what I need to do, especially in these first weeks, is stay focused on the act behind the event.
This afternoon we lounged around a park in DC for a few minutes, soaking up some of the last autumn sun. We talked about what's important to us- that we want to vow words we believe in, that we want to be married by someone who has convictions about what they're officiating, that we want to be surrounded by the community of people who love us and who will help us through the inevitable hard times ahead.
That, to me, is what my wedding has to be about.
I stare into the intimidating face of marriage, one whose dour statistics challenge my very belief in the institution. I reach back into the years of dating and experience I've had, use them to prop me up and reassure me that this relationship is so very different than anything I've ever had before. The wedding event will be a success if the act behind it is a success.
I'd be curious to hear what married folks think about this... what did you do to make sure you stayed true to the act and not just the event?