Memory Fridays: On Finding Love.

Just before we started dating... can you see our crushes?
When I finished my thesis in May 2007, I decided to take a trip to Ireland. I'd been there twice before, both for writing and literature classes, and had done some pretty extensive traveling around. One of my favorite places was Galway, a small city on the west coast that boasts wonderful little bookshops and cafes and a rocky path along the bay that I remembered and wanted to walk again.

In Dublin I stayed with friends, but by the time I got to Galway, I was on my own. I stayed in a B&B for several nights by myself. Traveling alone - really alone- is like nothing else. I can only take it in small doses, but those moments have been very important to who I've developed into as a person. It is very hard to lie to yourself when you're walking alone in Ireland. And at the moment I was walking along the bay, I realized that I had spent several months doing just that.

I'd ended a relationship earlier that spring, the effects of which required him to move out and my rent to double. I thought about that relationship a lot as I ate alone in Galway, as I attended a play one evening, as I sipped a Smithwicks while listening to live music at a pub near the B&B. I thought a lot about what had gone wrong and who was to blame for our failure to communicate (the answer: both of us). And as sad as I was that it had ended (yet again! these promising relationships kept ending!), I really knew deep down that it was not the right match.

So one rainy afternoon, I pulled my hood up and I walked along the bay. And this next part is going to sound crazy: I started talking to myself. No, wait. I wasn't exactly talking to myself. I started talking out loud- to whoever it was that I was supposed to meet and end up with.

"Where are you?" I asked, quietly. "I really want to meet you. I want to know you exist and I'm so curious- what are you doing right now? Where are you at this exact moment? And how long will it take us to find each other?"

The bay lapped quietly at the edge of the rocks and no one answered. The date was May 17, 2007.

On June 28, 2008 I had my first date with Chris. A lot had happened in 13 months. I defended my thesis. I decided to stay in Paris. I came home to NY for the summer and decided to stay in NY. I got a job in Westchester. I moved to Brooklyn. I left the job in Westchester and got a random job at a technology firm in midtown.

If you would have found me in Galway that day and told me the list of things that had to happen before I would meet the man I'd marry, I'd have guessed the date to be at least 5 years away. But somehow life kept getting disrupted to get me to Chris at Arc90, and while I don't know if I really believe in fate, that sure was a lot of rigmarole in one year of my life.

You don't know when someone's coming into your life. You can be duped a million times in a row. But then something lines up and you're sitting next to your best friend, the cat asleep between you, and suddenly you're here, right where you dreamt you'd always be. No longer talking to yourself.

Cause now you're talking to your love.

This is the final post for Memory Fridays. You can read other Memory Friday posts here

1 comment:

Steve said...

I love this guy, too.