7.31.2011

Yet another Sunday night where my heart bursts of excitement while blogging at a Starbucks.

It has been a very full summer. Much of it has to do with the impending events surrounding our wedding. Random visits to New York for friends and family has increased this summer, allowing for more mellowing and reveling in the company of good souls. This morning my brother and I sat around discussing how to keep our family close, particularly now that I am spinning off. In less than two weeks, I'll have a different last name. And while this is an entirely welcome change when it comes to joining Chris as his partner, I admit that I lay quietly one night a few weeks ago, unable to sleep, and cried a little for the end of an era.

For the past two weeks, I've had my nose buried in a book called Inside the Apple. I love it. I love keeping my eyes out for the small snippets of New York left from the 1600s, the 1700s, the era of Edith Wharton and that of La Guardia. It is complex, this city. In a way, I hate that its gloss and sheen doesn't match, that there's no single aesthetic. Take Paris, for example, for its white fortress-like buildings. New York doesn't have that going for it.

But I do think in the past few weeks, I've come to appreciate that this city depicts a timeline with the depth of literature. While I mourn the Dutch houses that were torn down or lost to fire, New York City shrugs its shoulders and says fuggedaboutit. There's always more history to come.

Same goes for me, no matter my name.

*

I don't want to write about the wedding on the blog all the time, but indeed, it is where my headspace is and I know I'll one day regret having none of the details marked down. We walked our photographer around the venue yesterday, pointing out where Chris will get ready, where I'll slip into my dress. Last week I had my last fitting and I'm very happy with what I'll wear to get my wedding on. It's simple and romantic and unique. I'm wearing flat sandals because I have no patience for heels when there's dancing to be done. I'm wearing my mom's pearl necklace, Katherine's veil and (most likely) Sarah's earrings. If some people are what they eat, then I am surely what I will wear that day, a combination of newness and oldness, borrowedness and plain old happy.

*

I watched Sheryl Sandberg's TED talk a few weeks ago and whoah. It fueled me. You know how someone talks about a space that's open, an opportunity or a vision and you just want to get on board? That's how it felt. Like all of the potential in my cells pooled together and I was suddenly ready to sit down and take names and take off. I've always had ambition, but have had a hard time wrapping my head around which direction to point it in. Well call NASA 'cause I've got some rocket fuel in my back pocket, ready to prove something about myself and about women leaders but also (and maybe more importantly), ready to work really hard towards the success of something larger than myself. 

*

So we've got thirteen more days until we cut the ribbon on our brand new lives. New name, new ambition, new husband (but luckily, same old Chris). We leave the night after the wedding for the airport, destination Portland, where we'll start our honeymoon roadtrip down the Pacific coast. I am so excited for bike riding and hiking and book shopping and beach laying and pretty-view-driving and life planning and talking and not talking. 

And all of the awesome, exciting things that are over the horizon for our new little family. T minus 13. Go. 

No comments: