10.09.2011

Needed: another honeymoon.

Guys, I am tired. I know that's not why you come here, that you come here for the stories. Or possibly the cat photos. But it has been a pretty crazy few weeks readjusting to new stuff at work and trying to keep myself relaxed during the weekends.

Oh. And there's that pesky PUBLIC SPEAKING EVENT coming up this Wednesday. 

I keep attributing the busy schedule to New York City. Sometimes I imagine a new life with rolling hills around us and a neighborhood cafe and a Golden Retriever in the backyard. I am not stressed in those daydreams. I still work and I still work hard, but somehow I don't feel as though every moment of my life is accounted for.

But maybe New York City is not to blame. Maybe it's me.

I started reading a biography of cancer tonight. The first chapter is about the way Leukemia works, the fascinating description about how someone's blood with Leukemia might look milky rather than bright red because of the surplus of white blood cells. Leukemia comes from the Greek word for white (leukos). Leukemia is when white blood cells replicate and replicate in your blood. I imagine a bloodstream chock full of cells. 

This is cancer. This is not healthy.

I thought about that metaphor tonight, the replication, the fullness, the absence of space. And it reminded me a little bit of our lives here. There does not seem to be a way to take a deep breath without completely detaching from the whole thing. Our honeymoon was a great example of that. Today's day trip up to my parents' house was another example. But then the moment we slink on back towards the city, we become aware of the fullness again. 

I don't know. Maybe this is what life in 2011 is supposed to look like.

I mean, it's not like life lately hasn't been 99% awesome and fun. 

Pix or it didn't happen:










No comments: