2.15.2012

Early Wednesday

I've been dreaming a lot lately. This, in itself, is not so much a surprise... I dream every night and usually remember at least a fragment of it the next morning. But lately I've been waking up exhausted from a night filled of running around, navigating social situations and (boringly) going to work. Each morning I remember more than fragments - whole storylines seem to extend back to the moment my head hit the pillow.

A whole bunch of these dreams lately have been about me wearing the wrong thing. I was going on a trip and I packed the most impractical shoes ever (Mac shoes, made of computers, if you're curious). I found myself on vacation with a popular blogger and I'd forgotten a swimsuit. Each time I'm embarrassed, worried about the impression I'm making, and wake up remembering and thinking about those feelings for the rest of the day.

I can't trace them back to anything just yet. Often a tweak in real life resolves these emotionally-draining nights for me... but first I have to figure out what's going on underneath it all.

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I haven't been on this blog too often lately. I'm not worried; blogs go through seasons just like the rest of us. But if there's one thing I want to remember about the past month or so, it's that an earlier schedule has revealed amazing amounts of time. Weekends seem to last 72 hours. A super-early start to a weekday has us seeing a different NYC... I often get a seat on the subway. I get to work early enough to quietly catch up with early-bird colleagues before the mess of meetings start. Equally, I can leave earlier - which means that I'm often able to go on a walk before dinner.

Yes we are tired earlier and yes that's affected who I want to be around in the evenings. But schedules have seasons just like blogs do... and I'm enjoying living through this one for a while.

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