To me, the internet can be a wonderful place of solidarity. Opening up about certain experiences or truths of our lives can connect us in a very deep way, whether or not we see each other regularly in person. So in this spirit, here are a few things I'm afraid to tell you. (Or "Things that I would prefer not to admit to" or "Things that seem indulgent to write about on the internet" or "Things I hope make you feel ok about the things you are afraid to tell me." All working titles.)
- I feel like the happiness of a (stupidly) large number of people rests on my shoulders.
- I assume you just read that thought "who does she think she is?!"... just as I often assume that any action I take that makes me feel brave is interpreted by others as me trying to be hot shit.
- My family has a wonderful time when we're together, but we're not in constant touch. At times this is convenient, but other times it makes me really sad.
- My dreams are incredibly affected by the social dynamics playing out in my life. If I'm not in a good place with a friend, I dream about it every night until it's resolved. This encourages me to reach out and communicate more, but also means that my subconscious is held hostage until I'm totally honest and communicative in my life. Which is exhausting.
- I love the result of pedicures but hate getting them. I worry that the nail person hates her job and I have to entertain her throughout the whole thing. Same with eyebrow threading. Same with most service-oriented activities.
- I love blogging but I hate the feeling that people assume I'm parading my life to become famous or well-known or popular. I think this is why I haven't yet posted the pictures of our wedding... I'd love to share them but I worry that people might judge my decision to share that with the world.
And if you're looking for a few more soul confessions on a Tuesday, check out the rest of the gang... (thanks, Leslie, for organizing!):
Jill at Terra Savvy | Erica at The Elbow | Jen at Taking Off the Mask | Kate at Modern Home Modern Baby | Laura at My So Called Sensory Life | Monique at Razing Mayhem | Caroline at Salsa Pie | Leslie at Life In Every Limb | Tammie at Tam.Me | Melanie at Inward Facing Girl | Amy at Old Sweet Song | Michelle at Early Mama | Leslie at Lights and Letters | Sarah at SAWK Photography