3.05.2013

Anticipating spring.

This afternoon after baby class I had a couple phone calls to make and so I bought a chai latte and sat on the benches outside the book store in the sun. It's supposed to snow for the rest of the week (or, if not snow, at least be cold and grouchy and awful out), a fact that made the bench in the sun SO much sweeter. Even after I was off the phone, I sat and let the sun warm me. I sat and sniffed the warm air that you can just tell is coming one of these days and I was so damn warm and happy. Noah woke up and I held him on my lap and the two of us just sat there watching the passerbys, smelling for spring.

Dude, where's my yogurt?
Afterwards we came home and shared a blueberry yogurt. So far in his life, Noah has tasted banana, lentil soup, vanilla pudding and yogurt. Yogurt wins. I practically have to put him in a straight jacket because of all the arm-flailing once he sees me get the container. He's like "HEYHEYHEY THAT YOGURT! I WANT SOME!" and I'm like "Dude, MOVE YOUR ARMS, what do you think I'm trying to do with this airplane noise?!"

Then he gets some on his tongue and he smiles this huge grin and gums it for a while and makes all kind of squealing noises. It is ridiculous.

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A few weeks ago we realized that we haven't gone on vacation since our honeymoon. (This, by the way, was incredible to me -- I am SUCH a traveler! No wonder I have been feeling bummed!) We've traveled to see family and for work stuff, but nothing is the same as going on a bonafide vacation where you eat new foods and relax. Sometimes I think we should have gone to Japan last year like we planned, but too little too late. Instead, we are taking Noah to the Bahamas in early April for five nights and we cannot wait.

Our new travel mode is pretty much the opposite of what I used to do. Instead of off-the-beaten-path hotels and hole-in-the-wall restaurants, we chose a large chain hotel that has room service in case we cannot be bothered to leave. I'm excited to swim in the pool (and the ocean!) and to see the multi-colored buildings, but honestly I am mostly looking forward to not bundling the baby up in four hundred layers. I can't wait to sit outside in a tee-shirt and drink a smoothie in 85 degree weather.

In many ways, I could not have imagined even researching this trip a month ago. Noah is an entirely different person - more routine, a slightly better sleeper, a vastly happier boy. Giving him new experiences sounds like fun instead of like hell, which is what it would have felt like a month ago.

And then, after vacation, it will be spring and I am going back to work. Three days a week, I will put on work clothes and ride the subway and be in an office for eight hours working with people who can feed themselves. Noah will stay at home with his nanny and Chris will go to work and we'll all reunite in the evening.

This, too, feels like a new season. I know that it will be messy and complicated and I'll be annoyed with pumping, but I also know that I am dying to be back at work. Just as the decision to go back felt premature in January, it feels just right in April.


Babies, man. It's never-ending change.


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Sometimes I make him give me smooches and he doesn't know what to do so he licks my cheek. Sometimes he is so happy to see his dad at the end of the day that he screeches and screams, incoherent to everyone but himself. Sometimes I look at him and think "were you reincarnated? WERE YOU ABRAHAM LINCOLN???" because he just seems like he's been around the block a few times and like he's just waiting for us to get in line with our parenting so that we can all be a mighty family together.

What a joy this boy is.

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