5.04.2013

Gone Fishing.

I have wanted to write on this blog over the past month, but the truth is that I have been hanging out in parks instead. You truly don't care that your apartment is only 10 square feet when you can easily put your baby in a stroller and spend the day hopping from park to playground to coffee shop to book store to library to park again.

All of this outdoor time in a city reminds me so much of my time in Paris, when I could literally spend the entire day eating baguettes in a park with whoever was around. I had no other responsibilities, nothing that I needed to be doing in the background of everyday life. 401k accounts and grocery lists for the next week and moving clothes backwards in the closet... none of these background life activities are required when you are living abroad, a year at a time.

So I've been trying to go with the flow of this. (Clearly my memoir of this time will be called Don't Leave the Park on Time So You Can Vacuum.)

We are having a great, great time. I - I- am having a great, great time.

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Right now my husband is in DC at a conference where he is having 1,000 ideas per minute and I'm at Starbucks in Yorktown while my mom is hanging out with Noah. The normalcy of this stuns me. When you are in that first period of a baby's life, a period that I lovingly call HOLYSHITWHENDOESTHISKIDGOHOME???, it is literally impossible to imagine that one day you might be allowed to have 1,000 ideas per minute or write a blog post. I am so grateful that we are past the most intense part of that. Most nights I get in bed and can't wait to wake up so that I can drink a cup of coffee and snuggle my son. 

I still have stress dreams, though. Most of these involve tiny, tiny babies who I've forgotten to feed or accidental pregnancies that have us going through the ringer again later this year. The short answer to "do you want a second?" is probably - but not until it sounds like a great idea. Right now we are enjoying the one we have.

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And this all brings me to the mantra that Chris and I have agreed on: "Do what works for as long as it works." Right now working 3 days a week is perfection. One day it may not be, but it's not worth spending energy solving problems that don't exist yet. I am in a period of intense non-planning and sometimes it makes me want to breathe into a paper bag for a few hours (because PLANNING! Love it!). But I got to the end of the road with the planning, the perfectionism and the peace-keeping. Now I make the time to sit in the sun and think slow thoughts.

On that note, closing this laptop to drink my chai in the sun. See you back here soon, friends.

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