7 weeks, 2 days

Parenting is so strange. You feel gratitude for the tiny one in your life, snuggling him close and loving the way he snuggles you back, thinking about how this is probably the last time we have a tiny one. And then hours later you can be so up to your ears in parenting, so tired of the monotony and the disciplining and the whining or smelling like puke that you wonder if you really should have been a parent at all.

Chris and I had a conversation tonight about his bachelor days (and arguably my own bachelorette days), how we miss the freedom and the habits and activities we used to get so much joy from. 

At 7 weeks exactly I had a little meltdown because I was feeling incredibly burned out. Breastfeeding moms work around the clock. Instead of getting in bed and feeling happy that the day is over, I have to rally to continue to work all night. It seems like I've been nonstop working for seven weeks and, man, I was so tired of it on Friday. Noah is also having a hard time, missing our time together and acting out at times. 

I guess the truth is that we are all a bit burned out of this phase.

But we pull each other up as-needed. Just when we're about to go nuts, Noah will make a hilarious or brilliant remark. Aaron will smile and even giggle a bit. I will secretly buy ice cream for just me and Chris; Chris will queue up a Parks and Rec and we'll relax into it together.

Maternity leave is winding down for me and we now have a new phase coming - working mom of 2. I am daunted but also excited. I am ready for things to feel even the slightest bit normal again!

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