I used to have about 30 energy pellets to spend a day- between business, kids, family, life. These days I feel (no joke) around 4. 

But I will have you know that I spend one of them each day on how to give back. Sometimes I google a map of the continental US and dream about a 2017 tour to give a talk. How to fire a brain tumor or the career path you must amble it down to stay alive. How to use the generosity of our community to help YOU after my family got all we needed.

I just want you to know. 


My mom arrives in a few hours. She's going to take care of me and my boys and Chris. She's going to give me a daily shot in the belly after I get home from surgery because she's a nurse. 

Here are details:
- Thursday I do labs and have an appt to check in
- Friday they will do embolization, which means putting something in my groin artery to feed into tumor and start cutting off blood supply. Time to starve it so I don't lose too much blood during surgery. (EW GROIN ARTERY BLOOD BLAGGGGH.)
- I'll likely be at UCSF overnight for that
- Sunday I go in for a longer MRI so they can be up to date with everything 
- Monday is surgery, around 10AM. Booked for 7 hours. They say it often goes longer. (I wonder where I'll be? I never even had epidurals with the babies. I think about this sometimes, where I'll be on drugs. I avoid thinking about what's literally happening during the surgery. It's not my dreamiest curiosity to imagine.)
- Then maybe home Thursday or Friday, but lots depends on what they find.

I got my boys each a dou dou when they were born. It's the French version of a lovey. I never had one growing up but loved it when I lived in France so it became part of our tradition. Right after I was diagnosed I got me one too. It's a pink bunny. Noah named her Radish :)

I hung this above my bed last night. Because hell yeah, Roosevelt. Hell yeah.

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